Dream cars

I have a confession to make, one that may cause you to question the sincerity of my plans for doubling the price of gas and making drastic cuts in our energy consumption. I can't hold it in any longer, I must risk my credentials as an eco-liberal-libertarian by baring my soul. Forgive me, but (gulp)...... I love cars.

There, I've said it. I've loved cars all my post-pubescent life (there must be some testosterone connection, no?). I've owned dozens of them, very few of which ever came close to being my dream vehicle, but which were storied cars, nonetheless.

My first car was a hand-me-down, my grandfather's 1961 Dodge Dart, with a slant six and 3 speed automatic transmission on the column. It was not exactly the Porsche "Bathtub" Spider that I lusted after, but it ran.

That's more than I can say for my second car, which was a used Fiat station wagon affectionately called Sweet Charity (thanks to Shirley MacLaine). Italians may make fine leather loafers, but they make lousy cars. One day, a few short months after buying Sweet Charity, I had to get out and push it up Holden Road, while my father steered. The ironic part of the story is that the car was still running, in fact, Dad was racing the engine, but it didn't have enough ooomph to make it up the 3% grade. The Fiat was soon relegated to the junk yard.

There were other cars, too many of them now that I think about it. Such as...

* The Ford Torino that cost me all of $200, and which I had to intentionally drive into a tree (at about 10 mph) to realign the control arm that had slipped out of position.

* The VW Bug that burst into flames one day, and unfortunately was doused by the fire department before the fire could total the car and end my misery of constant maintenance.

* The old mail truck Jeep, perhaps the dumbest car purchase I ever made, which is saying something given how many dumb cars I've owned.

* Another VW, this one a Squareback with the infamous "pancake" engine. When it needed a major overhaul, I made the mistake of taking it to Art's garage. Art was very good at taking things apart, but not so good at putting them back together. After a couple of weeks of Art's telephone excuses, I visited him to see what was up. My VW sat there in his garage bay with its engine compartment agape, ringed by loose wires and bolts and hoses and such. I asked Art when he thought he might have it running. He told me "I come in every morning, make a cup of coffee and pull a chair up to the car. I sit there and stare at it for an hour or two, but I don't know how to put it back together..." I towed it home, bought a book, and cobbled it back together on my own.

* A couple of Renault's, one a LeCar and the other a Renault 5. Suffice to say that the French share many similarities with the Italians when it comes to the quality of both their shoes and their automobiles.

* A Mazda RX3, which was the first rotary engine automobile. My RX3 was a screamer, the first in a very short line of performance cars I've owned. Those of you who know how technology works (like Windows Vista, or iTouch phones) know that you never want to buy the FIRST version of anything. The second version, the one that has all the bugs worked out, that's the one you want. In the second version of the RX3, Mazda fixed the engine seal problem that doomed my Mazda. Too late for me (and my brother, who threw a wrench through the garage door in frustration after trying to fix it).

* A Dodge Caravan, which cost me more in repairs over the course of the three years I owned it than I paid for it. I finally wrote a letter to Lee Iaccocca, listing all the problems I'd had with his company's "family van". My letter ran to three pages. He never replied, which is too bad. I wasn't asking him for a reimbursement, I just wanted an apology.

So, you may wonder, given this long litany of folly and pain, why do I still love cars? There are two reasons.

First off, I am an automobile optimist. I love what the future may bring, my personal history notwithstanding. When the NY Times runs a slide show from the latest Auto Show I click and gaze in rapt wonder at the Concept Cars. All that sci-fi sleekness and all those airstream slipping curves make me drool as I imagine the g-force tug from down-shifting my yet-to-be produced CR-Z into a curve on the Pacific Coast Highway (where else would one drive one's dream?).

Secondly, I discovered Honda. About twenty years ago (right about the time I wrote my Dear John letter to Chrysler) I bought my first Civic. Since then, I've owned 5 or 6 of them. My current silver Civic is the epitome of ordinary. It's certainly no Porsche, but it's no Fiat either. Honda's non-Fiatness won me over. The Honda Civic is the simplest, most elegant, most economical, most reliable car I've ever owned. They sip lightly at the gas pump. They run and run, never breaking down, and seldom needing maintenance.

Which brings me to the point of my post. I'm afraid that Honda is slipping, and it saddens me greatly. I admit, I'm not the typical auto enthusiast. I don't want 16 tons of towing power, or 5-wheel drive, or 800 cubic inches or seventy-six cup-holders. I don't fit into Thorsten Veblen's conspicuous consumption class, I could care less what the hood ornament says about the size of my....wallet. I want a Euro-car; one that's compact, that's reliable, that's simple and that gets a gazillion miles per gallon. And this is where Honda and I have parted ways.

Honda lately has been "going American", getting all "horse-powery and cup-holdery". Their cars keep getting bigger, they seem to be designing everything to appeal to Joe Nascar. My first Civic DX (the DX is "entry model" Civic, I always buy the low-end even of the already low-end Civic) had a 1300 CC engine and got 45 MPG. Honda discontinued the 1300 CC engine in the US (not enough power, they claimed). My latest Civic, with a 1500CC engine only gets 39 MPG. Honda's trade-off of fuel economy for pizazz seems to be getting worse. The Honda Fit, which is the new low-end Honda even smaller than the Civic, is (according to Honda's web site) "snappy and aggressive". But it only gets 34 MPG! What kind of trend is this? In 1990 Honda's low-end model got 45 MPG, the low-end 2002 Civic I've had for 5 years gets 39 MPG and if I buy their new low-end offering, the Fit, I'll only get 34 MPG? Am I the only one who thinks we're going backwards?

In Japan and Europe, Honda sells a Fit with the 1300 CC engine (you can't get that here), which gets mileage in the mid-40s. I want Honda to sell me that car, but I don't think they know there are customers like me on this side of the Atlantic. I don't want the fat American Fit that yearns to be a Corvette. I could care less that the American Fit comes with 10 cup holders (it does). It only gets 34 MPG, as far as I'm concerned, it's a potbelly pig. I want a 50 MPG car. No wait, forget 50. I want 60 or even 100 MPG!

Let me tell you about my new dream car. It would be a small hatchback, like the 2009 Fit:


It would get 60 MPG - using extremely lightweight materials and with an engine designed for European gas prices. If I really want to go off the dreaming deep-end, I'd imagine a 100 MPG plug-in hybrid Fit, with lithium-ion batteries that could be charged by plugging it in overnight. Talk about a car that could rev my engines! It is to dream...

What's a memorable car from your past? What do you think about the cars that you see on the road and in showrooms today? What's your dream car, which car (real or imagined) can set your heart to fluttering??